And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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