Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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