I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
