you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
