So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
