who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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