is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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