I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
