dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize