It's Friday. Sex?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
