Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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