just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
