I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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