Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize