Umm I'm too high to move.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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