But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
