He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize