you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
