ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
