Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
