my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
wow bdsm is so cute
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
