My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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