And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
