I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
