are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
