I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
foreskin is a definite game changer
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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