another moral hangover. fuck.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
