I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
