i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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