i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
