She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So much rum. So many feels.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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