At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
