you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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