I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
