Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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