There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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