oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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