Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
