this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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