Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
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