and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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