Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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