Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
