just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
