Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
