I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
