I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
