Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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