I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
