So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
