try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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