I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
