too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
