it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
