I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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