My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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