Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
