Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
too bad you live with your parents still
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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