if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
