Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
