i was born a porn star she said
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize