I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
