i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
