im about as happy as oj after his trial
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A+ Viking dick
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
