which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
