we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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