yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize