called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
