my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You need Xanax blowdarts
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
